Will Smith, Crutches and a Whole lotta mess . . .

Hi, (trying to be relaxed and breezy now)

Today started badly. Waking up in the same clothes from the day before, including your hoodie and shoes, under your covers, is never a great feeling. Nor is 7am. EVER. Especially not after less than 3 hours sleep and the brutal combination of Amitripteline, Nytol and an inquisitive mind that the previous wee hours of the morning had seen. God I miss Calpol. I'd just like to throw that out there. I remember when Calpol could cure anything. Calpol was like crack though. Note to self, BUY CALPOL.

So. Waking up. Crappy. The only thing that was worse than the time was the weather. I was in a foul mood. Standing at a bus stop at 8 in the morning and waiting 45 minutes for that bus, in the rain and biting wind, hasn't been my scene since college (well my last job) and never will be again. If i hadn't thought that my car was buggered it would of been warmth and comfort all the way there. Well as much comfort as you can get from a car that looks like it is made out of old elastic bands and bits of hair. But there you go.

INTERJECTION! I have just realised my blog title makes me sound like a big Red Hot Chilli Peppers fan. That was most definitely not the approach I was going for. Not that i have anything against 'the chilli's' or their fans. i just felt the need to clear this up.

Anyhow during the day I found myself ease dropping. Something that I never do. But those random comments you hear as you mooch through towns and shopping centres didn't seem enough today. "it was green, and it kept on growing" just didn't cut it. i wanted to know the whole story, whether horticultural or otherwise. I realised that i was actively listening, rather than unavoidably hearing, when i became infuriated by two security guards. Their topic of discussion seemed to be Will Smith films. I say seemed to be, as although that was definitely the topic, neither seemed to have much knowledge of Will Smith, his films or any of his musical hits from the last 2 decades. My favourite section played out, unfortunately, quite accurately like this (all in the thickest of black country accents); *'one of my favourite films of all time has to be his one before, that one before, his new one. Y'know. Whatsit. And he shoots animals and stuff at the start?' **'the one with the dog' *'yeah that one' **'I am legend?' *'yeah, i really rate that' **'I don't' *'me neither, its quite good though' **'Yeah a bit like 28 days later, but with Will Smith'. Take a breath. Existence stuns me. Although i obviously have problems with the content, it wasn't the content that angered me so. It was the fact that during this they weren't even paying attention to their jobs. And to be honest it wasn't even that. If i could get paid for standing around talking about Will Smith, I would.

Okay. This is where this blog gets weird. At this point last night i fell asleep. Forgetting the fact that i had been up since 7 for the first time in too long, i think i just passed out. I awoke this morning to see all the words staring back at me like a banana skin. A shell of something that i enjoyed at the time, but that is now leaving an unpleasant smell. Or maybe that was me. Falling asleep fully clothed 2 nights in a row is bad form. Bad form. Now i say this not because i detest how i was feeling last night, but to be honest i do. But because that thought stream, the things i was feeling are not real any more. At the moment I'm taking each day as it comes. And after yesterday am feeling pro active. So today I'm using those words, the pessimism of yesterday to push off. And you know what i already have some good things to focus on.

But I'm sure you'll hear about that tonight. When hopefully i learn how to finish a blog.

Take it easy.

* Spoken by security guard number one - Massive man. Wouldn't mess with him. Probably run if he so much as glanced at you after the hours of 9 30pm. Anywhere.

** Spoken by security guard number two - Looked like the real life Doug. From the cartoon Doug. Only in a shirt that was to big for him, gray trousers with the belt by his nipples and what can only be classed as orthopaedic shoes.